Infertility is a monthly grief in a world that keeps announcing pregnancies. The Bible is full of women who could not conceive, and it does not tidy their stories: Hannah weeps so hard at the temple that a priest thinks she is drunk. Some of those women eventually had children; this page will not promise you will. What it will do is refuse to look away, and give you a psalm that starts with “how long.”
If the grief has become despair, or the treatment cycle has left you unable to function, a counselor who works with infertility can help, and so can a support group like RESOLVE. This is a recognized loss, and you are allowed to get help for it.
A verse to start with
For someone struggling with infertility
1 Samuel 1:10-11
She was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to Yahweh, weeping bitterly. She vowed a vow, and said, “Yahweh of Armies, if you will indeed look at the affliction of your servant and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a boy, then I will give him to Yahweh all the days of his life, and no razor shall come on his head.”
World English Bible (WEB)
Why this fits
Hannah, “in bitterness of soul,” weeping and praying at the temple while her rival mocks her. This is the Bible’s most honest picture of infertility, and the first thing to notice is that she is allowed to be bitter. She does not compose herself before she prays. She prays like that, and she is heard like that. If you cannot pray nicely about this, you are in good company.
7 verses for someone struggling with infertility
1 Samuel 1:10-11
She was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to Yahweh, weeping bitterly. She vowed a vow, and said, “Yahweh of Armies, if you will indeed look at the affliction of your servant and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a boy, then I will give him to Yahweh all the days of his life, and no razor shall come on his head.”
World English Bible (WEB) · Narrative
Hannah, “in bitterness of soul,” weeping and praying at the temple while her rival mocks her. This is the Bible’s most honest picture of infertility, and the first thing to notice is that she is allowed to be bitter. She does not compose herself before she prays. She prays like that, and she is heard like that. If you cannot pray nicely about this, you are in good company.
Psalm 13:1-2
How long, Yahweh? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart every day? How long shall my enemy triumph over me?
World English Bible (WEB) · Psalm (poetry)
“How long, Yahweh? Will you forget me forever?” A psalm that begins with the question infertility asks every month, kept in the Bible as a prayer. You are allowed to ask it out loud. The psalm turns toward trust by the end, but it does not skip the question, and neither should you.
Psalm 34:18
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
World English Bible (WEB) · Psalm (poetry)
Near to the brokenhearted. The verse does not ask why the heart is broken, and it does not require a baby announcement to be true. For the negative test, the failed cycle, the baby shower you couldn’t attend, and the friend who announced in the group text. The nearness is a response to the breaking, not a reward for coping.
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered.
World English Bible (WEB) · Letter (epistle)
“We don’t know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered.” For the days when you have prayed the same thing so many times you have no words left. The verse says the wordlessness is itself prayer, carried by someone else.
Psalm 113:9
He settles the barren woman in her home as a joyful mother of children. Praise Yah!
World English Bible (WEB) · Psalm (poetry)
“He settles the barren woman in her home as a joyful mother of children.” Included with care: it is a line about what God has done for some, in a psalm of praise, not a promise about your outcome. Some people find it cruel in this season and some find it the only hope they have. Read it if you can; skip it if you can’t. Both are allowed.
Genesis 30:22
God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her, and opened her womb.
World English Bible (WEB) · Narrative
“God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her.” After years, after her sister had son after son, after Rachel had said “give me children or I die.” The verb is remembered. Whatever the outcome of your story, this verse says the waiting was not unwitnessed and the asking was heard.
Isaiah 54:1
“Sing, barren, you who didn’t give birth; break out into singing, and cry aloud, you who didn’t travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife,” says Yahweh.
World English Bible (WEB) · Prophecy
“Sing, barren, you who didn’t give birth.” Said to Israel, about a nation that would have more children than it could count. The context is national, and I will not pretend it is a personal promise. What carries is the idea that barrenness is not the end of a story in Scripture; it is where several of the biggest ones begin.
The one I’d leave out
Psalm 127:3 and Jeremiah 29:11. “Children are a heritage from the Lord” and “plans to prosper you” get sent to couples in fertility treatment as encouragement, and both land as a verdict: everyone else got the heritage, and the plans are apparently for other people. Psalm 13 is what to send: how long, asked honestly.
What to say with it
“I’m so sorry. That must be so hard every month.” Then stop.
Tell them before you announce a pregnancy, privately, so they don’t find out in a group text.
“I’d love to have you at the shower, and I’ll completely understand if you can’t.”
Don’t say: “Just relax,” “Have you tried…,” “Maybe it’s not God’s plan,” or “You can always adopt.” They have heard all four this week.
How to use these verses
1 Samuel 1:10–11 when you need permission to be bitter. Psalm 13 as a prayer, out loud. Romans 8:26 when you have no words. Psalm 113:9 only if it helps; put it down if it doesn’t.
Want more than 7?
These are the ones I’d hand you first. The search covers every verse in the Bible and tells you why each one matched.
No. The Bible’s barren women include Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elizabeth, some of the most honored people in it. Jesus explicitly rejects the idea that suffering is a verdict on the sufferer (John 9:3). Anyone suggesting otherwise is wrong.
Does the Bible promise I will have a child?
No. It records that some barren women did, and it promises that God hears and remembers. Those are different things, and I would rather tell you the truth than hand you Psalm 113:9 as a guarantee.
What can I send a friend going through infertility?
Psalm 34:18 and one line: “I’m thinking of you this month. No need to reply.” Say nothing about timing, plans, or adoption.